kindergarten 2011-12 on the left coast

Thanks to continued Federal intrusion into the learning lives of children and the importance of data points and accountability, here's the new and improved schedule for the Kindergarten Class of 2011-12:

Other than the 5 minutes allotted for Opening Activities (greeting each student; putting backpacks away; getting settled; attendance; lunch count; mail; announcements.... Right, like in 5 minutes?), these 4 and 5 year old children will enjoy 2 hours and 55 minutes of seat time as I effectively deliver a skills based, scripted, academic English Language Development, English Language Arts, and Math curricula. During 60 minutes of ELA and Math Strategic Support, I will address the needs of the Below Basic and Far Below Basic children while the other 4 and 5 year olds are working independently at their instructional level. (NOTE: In the school districts in my city on the Left Coast we do not have instructional aides, or specials - music and art teachers.)

I am sure my students will enjoy the Health Nutrition break, where they will be able to eat a snack and play play play to their hearts' content and socialize for an entire 10 minutes! Wow! Life doesn't get much better than that when you're 4 and 5 years old.

Now regarding the 20 minutes allotted for Science/Social Studies/Music/Art..... well I won't even get into the reality of those 20 minutes. Anyone who's ever taught kindergarten can look at the above schedule and figure out why.

So the year has begun... On your mark. Get set. GO! And while I'm at it, I'll be giving the Emerging Literacy Assessment, one-on-one, to each of my students (To Be Completed by the ninth day of school. No excuses!) After all, it's never too early to labels kids as failures, is it? So in 9 short days, my kids have been bibbidy bobbidy booed and magically turned into data points... because, well, DIG*! 

*DIG = Data Is God